It’s a damn interesting time to be alive.

I just spent a weekend up in Inverness sweatlodging and meeting some pretty cool folk.  It was an inspiring experience in many many ways.

I’m inspired by the idea of living communally and contributing to a group co-operative where the general motto is that of constant giving of yourself, sharing, communication, honesty and respect.  That’s a major thing the weekend has taught me.

The basis of consensual reality is to get people segregated and disconnected at their roots, that’s a simple fact.  We badly need community.  When you spend only 2 days with people you don’t know, sing with them, bang drums with them, sweat with them and pour your heart out into the darkness for them all to hear, you then realise that all you need is a supportive comunity. 

Because it’s not like there’s a scarcity of this kind of stuff in the world… The problem is it’s just not allowed to flow.  People are desperate to live like this, but the world simply isn’t structured this way.  When people live like this, there’s a natural desire to help and contribute and be a part of the group and it comes from the child aspect of ourselves which wants to be noticed.  The modern, consensual reality way is to pretend that we’re not children anymore and are therefore invulnerable and have complete control over reality.  Complete bollocks.

If we actually structure our realities so that we utilise our innate desires to be noticed and to contribute to community and to become more creative and to live from our real, feeling selves, then the world WILL change hugely and very very quickly.

As I say, there’s a big fear here that people will just take advantage of you somehow or do you wrong in some way.  But the fact is, we’re at a time in our history when the desire to help and live from our hearts is so great, that the chances of that happening are very slim.  We just need to set things up so that there are conduits for natural expressions of love to work through.  Our current society does not provide this.

Have you ever wondered why some women get addicted to shopping?  Why some men get addicted to drinking alcohol?  Why I got addicted to yoga?

It’s all for the same reason – everyone wants to feel connected to each other in some way, but as I say, this society doesn’t provide us with what we need to express our innate desires.  So, women shop for the sake of the experience of making the transaction and exchanging that energy, men (and a lot more women now) go to the pub and get rat-arsed because they want to get in touch with their childish aspects of themselves – commendable as that is, you can’t possibly learn to do this while you’re drunk.  Being drunk negates any possibility of you being able to navigate that kind of experience while keeping your center and working from a healthy, relaxed state.

Feeling your vulnerability and being real with yourself is the only answer.

I’m only typing this up to keep myself reminded realy.  Coming back from a weekend of sweatlodging can be disconcerting.  I still felt highly magnetic on arriving in Glasgow, and being highly magnetic and sensitive while walking through Glasgow city centre on a sunday night isn’t such a good idea.  I did NOT feel safe.  I got home alright though, but not without incident.  Nothing too major – I didn’t have any hostility in me, so what transpired wasn’t such a big deal.  Although it did not feel good at the time.  Enough said.

It’s when you come back from these things that you realise what things need to change in your life and I think I need to change everything!  Work’s full of selfish folk, I live alone and have no community to speak of.  I now realise how unrooted I actually am and how much I do not want to be involved in those kind of experiences any longer.  I actually found a job which is very similar to the job I do at the moment and would be based only 2.5 miles further down the road from where I currently am and applied for it… I got a call very soon after (surprisingly soon actually) and had a brief telephone interview and impressed the guy a fair amount.  He sent me the job spec and basically all I need to do is tell him I’d like to apply for it and he’ll pass it onto the company involved.

But I just don’t want it.  I’m so disinterested, there’s no point in connecting to a whole load of new systems of work and learning how to use all the new equipment and how to work on it…  It turns me off something stupid.

I really want a simple life.  I remember cooking porage for ten people at the weekend and got such a great feeling of achievement from it!  Everyone loved the porage and asked me what my secret was!  I told them it was all about putting all your love into it and really just connecting with the porage.  They accepted this as a good answer!  However they probably did want more details…

It’s things like that that make life worth living.  I needed a lift to the train station before 16:15 when my train left and a woman I felt connected to eagerly put her hand up when our facilitator asked who could give me a lift.  It’s things that like that make life worth living.  When someone else genuinely wants to improve your life somehow, by removing a load from your shoulders and letting you get to where you want to get to.  It’s those kind of experiences which speed up the manifestation process and make us better people quicker.

I don’t want to be alone any longer.  Come on universe, bring me some ideas and situations for finding real community.

Namaste,

Sirius.

I had a whole raft of dreams last night and I remember five of them!  So I think I better write them down before they disappear from my head completely.

The first one was interesting and I’m not sure if it was actually a dream or something else such as an astral projection.  I was back in my hometown in the park and was standing pretty much in the middle with someone else.  Every so often, a large spaceship of some sort would zoom over my head really fast.  It was pretty incredible the power and grace that these things had.  So huge and fast and also not very loud.  They’d zoom over and amaze me in such a way that would open me up and give me a wondrous feeling every time!  There was one which I apparently recognised.  I say “apparently” because i felt that I recognised it in the dream but don’t recognise it in real life.  It was a craft which was mainly white and silver but also had bold blue parts on it.  The only similar thing I know of is a cabinet in the place I work, so maybe that’s where it’s from.  No idea why I have cabinets flying over my head in dreams though.  The main thing about this dream was just the healing effect and how the ships made me feel alive.  Pretty cool. 

Next one wasn’t as good but was quite enlightening.  It’s a bit patchy but I remember walking along the road, back in my hometown again.  There was an old man following me.  I was trying to get home and took a shortcut behind a big building.  It was dark and the shadow of the building vast by the moon made this particular spot pitch black.  Just was I was about to walk out of the shadow and back into the moonlight, the old man pulled on the jumper I was wearing and said, “No, Ryan!  Don’t leave me!  You have to help me!”  Or something to that effect.  I felt pretty damn scared myself at this point because I knew that if I didn’t help him, he’d do absolutely anything in his power to make sure I helped him.  I basically had no choice.  There was another guy though, standing more in the moonlight.  I thought, “Well, if I’m going to help this old man, I’ll need this guy’s help.”  I know what it’s about.  There has been a few times recently where I’ve felt like I’ve released and detached myself from so much stuff that doesn’t resonate with me anymore that I actually felt like I resonated with old men.  This was kinda disturbing… I’m 26 years old FFS!  But as with anything, there’s a message.  Basically I’m to remember to look after myself, keep manifesting and more importantly, start deliberately and consciously living in co-operation with the source energy directly and this will keep me young and pacify the old man.  First time that partcicular archetype’s came up in a dream though.  As for the other guy who could help me, I’m not sure who he is… his vibe was that he was working on something like I would be if I was working on something that’d improve my life somehow.  Maybe he’s more of an ego aspect or something, I’m not sure.

In the next dream, I was at work.  This is very patchy indeed, but I’ll see what I can remember.  I had a bunch of apprentices with me who were very very inexperienced and I had to look after them.  It felt like I was their parent and they were allowing me to look after them.  I didn’t really like the feeling because I felt like I had enough stuff to deal with without having to deal with a few apprentices… 

Next dream, I was back up in the office at work and a guy I used to know from a previous workplace came up the stairs and into the office.  I said hello to him, gingerly – this particular guy’s a bit wild in real life.  He’s not the kind of guy I’d like to spend any time with whatsoever.  But I spoke to him briefly and he kinda ignored me and talked to some other folk.  There was loads of people in the office working on something fairly big.  There’s an outsourcing project going on in real life where i work, so maybe there’s a load of astral energy shifting around there, which might’ve resulted in these dreams… I’m not sure.  I didn’t feel too connected to this place.

And lastly… I was walking home.  There was loads of people walking along the road.  One guy I recognise from my childhood starts throwing stones at me and I didn’t care in the slightest.  I had a huge smile on my face and literally couldn’t contain my happiness.  I felt great! 

Along the road, a couple of girls grab my attention and I start talking to them.  One of them asked me what the best bank account was at the moment and I said, “Well, there’s good and bad ones really… the bottom line is to do some research and shop around for the best one that suits your needs.”  OK.  They didn’t seem too comfortable, but it wasn’t my energy that was making them feel that way.  It’s just the way they were.  No idea what this was about either.

I woke up this morning wanting to dream even more – I was really enjoying these dreams!  They were very vivid and clear.  I love it when I sleep well.

Anyway, I better go.  The sun is shining where I am and the day is very crisp and the air is clear.  I actually really love Scottish weather sometimes!  You just don’t get air like this elsewhere.

TTFN,

Ryan.

Last night while cycling home on my new bike I nearly got ran down.  I was furious.

I was going round a roundabout and a woman in a Peugeot estate blatantly drove right onto the roundabout where I was cycling and almost knocked me off my bike.  I had to brake pretty hard.  I kept going and found her car at the bottom of the hill at the traffic lights.

At the time, I considered banging on the window and letting rip onto her.  I did stop by her car and looked in to see the person in the car – she avoided eye contact and pretended I wasn’t there…  I admit I wasn’t sure what to do – I’m not an outwardly angry person and blowing up at strangers isn’t my style, so I cycled off cursing to myself.

I was furious that she blatantly tried to knock me off my bike, but I can see very clearly what the lesson is and I plan on heeding it.  I’m starting to notice the thoughts I get before things happen and how the eventually come to pass whether I like it or not.  Up until my yoga injury, it seemed easy to visualise my joints in agony and feeling as though my structure wouldn’t hold me.  I also felt that I didn’t look after my bike enough not long before it got stolen.  I kept telling myself that I should look after it more… and eventually it walked.

The lesson this time though, was to use lights on my bike.  I’ve been cycling around in the dark for a long time now and often don’t feel safe.  I sometimes see myself getting knocked off and thrown through the air and having a bad injury.  Luckily this hasn’t happened yet – until last night’s close call.  This was a warning that if I don’t get lights, it will happen again (because subsconciously I’ll think I’ll immortal and will take the risk again) so the only way forward is to buy some lights to make myself safer before that particular waveform turns into a particle.  I’m fine during the day, it’s just at night I get a bit scared.  Let’s see how scared I feel with a good set of lights.

It was interesting – it was like when she nearly ran me down, all I could hear in my head was, “well, where’s your lights??”  Message received and understood – thanks for the warning.

I feel like since I stopped doing yoga, another kind of yoga has emerged.  Kinda like everyday yoga.  The yoga of finance for example!  I’ve been into my finances like I never thought I would be since the solstice in December.  Looking at better ISAs, pensions, stocks and shares…  I’ve now got £450 of shares in a mining company and about £800 invested in a physical Gold ETF!  If all goes to plan they should be worth more later in the year (or possibly later than that) at which point I can sell them and put the profits towards my new flat.  This one just doesn’t inspire me.  I did find a beautiful one on the banks of the Clyde which had a really wide hallway, nice furniture and a great view over the river.  It was perfect.  Pity it cost £180,000 though.  But it definately felt right.  Maybe living by the water is right for me?  I was told by a psychic that water’s good for me and it’s something I like… Never really thought about it tbh, but I guess that makes sense.

I feel as though the turmoil I’ve been in about whether or not I want to be in my job is starting to unravel aswell.  The question’s always been, “what do I want to do with myself?”  Well, the answer’s always been, “I want to make the world a better place.”  Somehow working in that office has felt like a waste of my time – I should be off somewhere, volunteering to build a school in Africa or something or writing songs or teaching a yoga class or something else!  Anything other than being here now in the present moment…  But the truth is there are aspects of the job that interest me.  While i was at the MSSR course the other week, I genuinely found myself interested in it.  Which felt wierd!  I’m not supposed to like all that stuff!  But yeah I was interested.

The only stuff I don’t like about my job is the dense, negative energy that people have there.  I always feel myself fighting against it, trying to stamp it out.  It’s a tough environment, that’s for sure.  But there are better ways of dealing with it.

Step one is to yield to it.  I actually have to allow myself to take in the energy of the people there.  Gaining a real presence there is about being creative with the energy that’s already there.  Not fighting against it.  Because then I’d be challenged to learn how to deal with it.  Blocking it out and trying to build walls around myself is what a child would do to try and protect itself from some would-be enemy.  I guess they feel like enemies because they’re not on my page, but it would help them get to know me if I accepted them for who they are and treated them respectfully with my thoughts, feelings and actions. 

I forgive each and every one of them.

Let’s all stay in the present during all this financial crap that’s going on.  When you take a good look around you, not much has changed really.  We’ve all still got food on the table, people we love and our own minds with their infinite capacity.  I’m not saying it’s easy for us all but just that when you’re put into a difficult situation, it urges you to think creatively.  All you need to do is listen to the message and respond to it.  Do whatever it is you need to do.  Use that beautiful mind of yours.

Love,

Ryan.

What I’m noticing a lot of these days is kindof a move towards transparency.  In all kinds of areas.

I was thinking a while back at work how crap it was that the only way to get reliable information was to ask someone and even then, the whole process of asking someone has a slightly humiliating aspect to it (where I work).  This is because knowledge is basically power where I am.  The more you know, the more respected you are.  It’s basically something you have to earn and if you don’t have the know-how then you’re disregarded.  It’s really that black and white.

And one day it got me thinking… Isn’t there a more transparent way of getting access to information?  And that inspired me to learn about the OSI layer model which is great in telecoms (bear with me if you know nothing about telecoms/IP stuff) because it’s the foundation of the entire system really – from the physical information carrier to the actual stuff you can see on a screen on the end-user’s device.  But no-one really tells you that this is what you need to know… because knowledge is power.  Apart from one guy who told me when we were on a night out one time and told me this secret but it didn’t really sink in because he wasn’t really trying to help me at the time… it was one of the strangest one-sided conversations I’ve ever experienced.  Anyhoo!

Aye, transparency.  So if I learn about the OSI model and then refer any other sources I have to that model, I can do pretty well in regards to learning about how telecoms systems work.  So that’s cool.  But as the financial markets have shown, we badly need much more transparency in the way we operate in the world.  My theory is that transparency equates to love.

Think about it – image that instead of getting all our energy from energy “providers” that we instead got them directly from the source – the sun!  Or the wind!  That’s the kind of transparency I’m talking about.

I was thinking about people having turbines in their back gardens and that’d be fine but what’d be even better (because lets face it – gardens are for relaxing in and having fun  – not for power generation) is having, say a good sized turbine at the end of the street, supplying the whole street.  That way, there’d be no need to have massive windfarms wired up to the grid, losing energy by having all that energy transmitted through the power lines.  And no need to step up the voltage so high…

Maybe that is a kinda simplistic way of looking at it, but here’s another idea.  The efficiency of solar cells have been increasing constantly over the last 25 years to the point where they are now about 60% efficient.  Which means 60% of the photons hitting the panel get converted into usable electricity.  I’m not entirely sure if you could use them to power your house, but the way things are going, I don’t think it’ll be long until you’ll be able to do this. 

So there’s a move towards “transparency” as I’m calling it.  Getting your stuff directly from the source.  I’m not getting as much from the supermarket as I used to anymore – I’m going straight to the fruit and veg shop or the butcher.  Haven’t checked out my local baker yet to see if they could do me some deals, but I’m sure they could. 

Even better though is growing your own food.  Imagine living in a street where everyone specialises in a certain food… One guy loves tomatoes and grows them at just the right time, harvesting them at the right time so that the supply is as good as it can get over a certain period of time.  Someone else grows potatoes, or other root vegetables, someone else does nothing but the fancy stuff like asparagus and strawberries or raspberries…  And they get distributed to everyone in the neighbourhood!

I’m digressing majorly here.  The main thing is the idea of transparency.  Where would anyone need bankers if we all had direct control over all our resources?  Would anyone need local supermarkets as much?  Would we need electricity providers as much?  No.  And I think this is the way the world is going.

I concede though, it’s not easy for most folk to live this way.  Personally, I live in a flat which does have a small bit of grass in front of it, but I don’t think the landlord’d be happy if I dug it up and planted carrots there…  Also, my main income source is from my job – from a large multi-national organisation.  I depend on them to give me work to do so that they can give me money in return.  I also pay rent to a football player called Robbie Fowler who owns the flat I live in!  So Robbie Fowler provides me with somewhere to live.  The time for this kind of middle-management of our resources is coming to an end, I reckon.

I wish I could speak more coherently about all this because I do feel passionately about it, but since my yoga injury, I haven’t exactly been as refined as I have been in the past.  Anyway.

Look at it this way.  The government can do everything they can to fool themselves into thinkin they’re “fixing” the economy, but they will fail miserably and very quickly.  The only way forward is for everyone to become MUCH more self-sufficient.  Growing their own food and trading with their neighbours, getting their energy from solar panels and wind turbines and even building their own living premises – check out here for details – http://www.earthedworld.co.uk/index.php?module=photoshare&func=viewallfolders  I could easily live in a place like that.

But it wouldn’t matter what happens to the economy, you’d have a roof over your head, electricity, the best quality food you’ll ever get and the best neighbours aswell.  If we all support each other, we can’t fail.

S.

Right now I’m away on a course for work and I was feeling ultra-sensitive last night which resulted in a cool dream.  I felt the need to dedicate some time to doing a personal journal (on paper) and finished up feeling like I’d resolved what was wrong.  I had some significant dreams last night…  Too bad I can’t remember most of them.  Here’s what I do remember though.

There was a girl in my dream by the name of Rachel Henderson.  She felt like a sister to me and we hugged each other until we both felt some pure love between us and then cheerfully, she said, “Ok cya later!” and off she went.

This is one of the best dreams I’ve had in ages.  It shows me developing a much more healthy relationship with my feminine side (I think that’s why she felt like my sister – kinda like my female counterpart).  But I felt this way because of all the working through I had to do in the personal journal.  I spent about an hour writing down in a lot of detail what was on my mind and finished feeling open, raw and very tired, but also very very centered.  I just accepted how I felt.  It was ok to feel low.

Then the dreams did the rest and today I feel great! 

Also, randomly, at the weekend I was close to waking up and I started hearing a guy with an African accent saying my name to try and wake me!  Dunno if maybe he’s a new spirit guide who’s came along at this time… I do feel as though I’ve went through a definite shift in the past few months, so maybe he’s here to guide me.  He feels very friendly and like a good, strong character, anyway.

I should say after last night’s journalling, I spent a while focusing on how grateful I felt towards myself for dedicating the time in resolving the way I felt.  I really did feel greatful.  It’s important to maintain a sense of gratitude at all times – it makes no difference how bad things are.  Things are actually really really good because you’re only one tiny aspect of the grand plan.  All you need to do is to steer your own consciousness into more pure areas and spend as much time there as you can.  There’s never any obligation to remain with darker/denser energies just because your circumstances dictate that you have to be around them.  You can spend your free time as you please.  No-one should have any control over anyone’s decision making abilities.

Take this morning.  A couple of guys I’m on the course with felt my more open energy while at breakfast and i told them as i left I’d see them in the foyer where we’d then go over to the place where the course is being held.  I was being polite – i probably would see them, but if i didn’t, big deal.

Anyway, they left before i got there but it was fine.  I was more than happy to spend 10 minutes walking to the office on my own.  But it didn’t stop them from making a point of mentioning that they were waiting on me…

But they were just clinging – trying to reassure me they hadn’t left me.  It was perfectly fine….

Anyway, my point is not to be suckered into these kind of tactics – these guys are decent enough – they’re not vampires or anything, but it’s worth remembering that these kind of things are what drag you down to their level.  You need to remember what energy state you reside in on a regular basis and spend as much time there as you can.  It’ll feel like coming home.

But I’ve went on a major tangent here and it’s nearly time for dinner, so I’ll say farewell and cheerio the noo.

Sirius.

OK, another Sunday night post while I’m inspired…

I’ve spent a good while over the past few weeks pouring over the latest economic news and really connecting to that energy.  And while it feels quite empowering to be about as in charge of my finances as I’m going to get, I think I’ve made the mistake that most economists and financial folk seem to make – they get obsessed!

Yep, I’ve overstepped the line alright.  I just looked at my blog stats and the first thing my brain did was try to figure out which stock chart I was looking at… Not a good sign.  There’s definately an addictive, fear-based quality around right now when it comes to money.  But even in the recession we’re in, I don’t think it has to be this way.  Abundance can still exist…

From a financial perspective, right now, Gold is certainly a great investment choice.  I just watched a youtube video (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IiRDuvI-xTk) of a guy from Citigroup projecting that Gold would be worth $2000 in a years time which more more than double it is right now.  And it makes sense when you think about the reasons why folk would want to do it.

The fact is, many governments are hell-bent on stimulating their economies by printing money and getting their banks to lend again.  The problem with this is that the actual amount of goods the countries will produce isn’t going to change, therefore this means that each and every thing you can buy will gradually cost more, to account for the fact that there’s more money around.  Another way of looking at it is that money is simply a measure of value of a product and if there’s more money going around, then you have to increase prices in relation to this.  This is called inflation and Gold is seemingly a great way to protect yourself against it.

The reason to buy Gold when inflation is on the horizon is that you have to have assets which have value of their own.  You could buy anything you wanted, really – a car or something else, but cars don’t hold their value very well.  The thing with Gold is there’s always a certain amount of demand for it, it’s an inert metal which means it won’t corrode (can’t remember exactly why but they did tell me in chemistry when i was in 3rd year…) and therefore can be kept for many many years and will still be in exactly the same condition it was in when it was bought and therefore will be of the same value – whether it costs more or less.

(I hope this isn’t boring anyone too much, I’ve got certain issues with all this info I’ve been filling my head with which I’ll come to in a minute, but there is a point here, bear with me… )

So I’ve questioned myself – why am I so obsessed with my finances and why do I want to buy gold all of a sudden?  Well I decided at the start of the year that I wanted to buy a house.  Over the West end of Glasgow, where I stay.  Where all the creative folk are and there’s loads of good, new energy, lots of young folk, students and a great general vibe.  I’ve always liked it there.  So I figured that buying Gold would be one great way of saving for a deposit on this house and making plenty of money in the short term… providing the house prices don’t start to rise again.  It’s my opinion that they won’t however, and that the stimulus package won’t actually get the banks lending again and therefore won’t push inflation up, so I’m hoping that means the house prices will keep falling.

I just think that this is an unprecedented time in human history (as I’ve said before) where left-brain, conservative thinking just isn’t going to work.  Sigh…  I am in a quagmire though.

The thing is, I went over to the west end last week just to get a feel for the place and I realised something i didn’t like… I didn’t really feel anything.  And therefore, perhaps my initial obsession for buying a house has transferred onto an obsession for the economy and how I can benefit from it!  When in reality the real thing I’ve been avoiding is how to just feel at home in a place, when I haven’t really felt at home at all here in the past 4 years I’ve been here.

…

 

Man where do I go from there?

 

The problem all along has been me working in an office hanging around people I just can’t relate to.  I don’t want to come off as “holier-than-thou” or anything, but people of a lower vibration to me.  From a higher awareness perspective, I think it’s all happened this way for a very good reason though.  When I left home, I literally couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  Being alone was a far better prospect than living with my parents.  Now, during my time here, alone, I’ve learned how to be extremely independant – something I needed to learn and something there was no way I was going to learn from my parents. 

My parents certainly did the best they could do, but they never really taught me how to really look after myself, so I learned it all by myself.  I meditated, I did tai chi and yoga and if I do say so myself, I was very good at it.  I could generate some incredible mindstates… stuff I’d never even dreamed of… if only I had someone to share them with. 

Which brings me onto the next aspect of the journey.  Now that I know how to be independant and how to really look after myself (to quite an extent), the next step is to really embrace my calling.  Now that I can create and now I really know what it is to be creative, I can move into whatever career it is I want to be involved in! 

But the hardest part is in choosing what I want to do.  I think once the financial obsession has wore off a bit, I’ll be focusing much more on that.  I did do a brainstorm recently of 20 ideas for improving my performance at work (in order to keep my job and stave off the possibility of redundancy (they’re outsourcing us soon and things are a bit uncertain)) but the thing is I feel no motivation for this at all.   I might feel inclined to do more overtime so I can earn a bit more, but I’m really not interested in that job at all.

I really don’t like how selfish this post is sounding…  Still, it is my only one authenticity conduit I have right now, so I guess I’ll just accept myself gracefully.

In other news, my bike got stolen today… the bike that I need to get to work because if I walk there the muscles around my pelvis will get tighter and tighter and cause me a lot of pain.  I need that bike.  Ironically though, I had been thinking to myself recently, “I really don’t appreciate this bike enough… I mean, this bike gives me so much and what do I give it in return?  I don’t really wash it and I only oil it when I feel like it…” 

Sigh.  Anyway, here’s hoping I can pull my head out of my arse a bit in the coming weeks and properly move towards something more positive, life-enhancing and love-hued.  And I really mean that.

 

Sirius.

I’m really inspired at the moment.

I’ve just been watching a programme about how the great depression of the ’30s came about and how it affected people and all that and it’s pretty obvious to me exactly what’s been playing out here.  I find it fascinating.

During the ’20s, for one reason or another a lot of people were getting involved in trading in Wall Street.  They gave this example of the shoe shine guy who, from talking to these high flying executives every single day while shining their shoes, eventually became quite knowledgable about how the whole system worked and how they could have a punt themselves.  And they did.  And their friends did, and their relatives did.  Before you knew it, the vast majority of folk were making loads of money on Wall Street.  And the bubble was only going to burst at some point…

And there was the great depression when it did.  Apparently it was pretty bad.  There was literally a village of cardboard boxes set up in Central Park in a disused reservoir which they called “Hooverville” (as he was the president at the time) where folk lived who had nowhere else to go.  It was pretty sad.  It wasn’t called a depression for nothing…

But I guess the main thing that fascinates me is the dynamics of the whole thing.  I’ve heard a few economists saying that “confidence is everything” ie – the way people feel about trading tends to determine the outcome of people’s investments.  But if you look at it that way, you could also say that the stock market is a great way of gauging how people are feeling in the world in general.

People haven’t learned from the lessons of the great depression for a reason.  Because people have never needed to put their attention there.  There’s been no need for fathers to tell their sons, “Remember lad, don’t go investing on stocks – it’s a mug’s game!  Look what happened to us in the 30s… take it from me, laddie…”  But this never happens.  And I don’t think it ever will because I don’t think there’s a need for it.  However, I think this kind of thing has happened enough times for the karma to catch up on humanity as a whole and for us to finally learn the lesson.

Accross the world over, we’re all seeing evidence of our effects on the world – glaciers melting, global temperatures rising, animals going extinct – you name it.  The environment has taken a huge, huge beating from us humans and we’re currently in the process of reaching a tipping point where people’s hearts will overtake their minds.  And by that, this is what I mean…

People’s sense of greed will be outweighed by their genuine sense of concern and compassion for their fellow man and their sense of compassion for the Earth itself.  I believe we’re reaching the point where this avalanche of heart enegry starts.  It’s as though there’s a battle of mind and heart going on which has been waging for years and years and it’s much much more obvious now.   The global economic crisis, as I’ve said is a great gauge for this. 

Governments are trying their damndest to hold onto the old systems which have been falling down and trying to prop them up when they should’ve just let them fall, let nature take it’s course and get the immoral, bad bankers out of the system altogether.  This would’ve left us with a leaner system which would effectively have more customers to deal with which they would’ve got from the banks that failed and therefore they’d have more money to play with.  And therefore no need to go gambling and competing like mad like they were doing before, selling mortgages in sub-prime markets and all that.  But goverment officials need to feel relevant, so they have to do something…

And it’s clear that they’re going to do this relentlessly until something really does go wrong, such as hyper-inflation and the pound’s value plumetting further than it is at the moment.

But anyway, that’s the head aspect of it all.  The heart aspect is the part of us that really realises that the stock market isn’t really that far different from a betting shop…  The only difference here is you can educate yourself and make a more accurate speculation.  But a betting shop, it still is.  And if you want my tip – here it is :

What with us heading towards 2012 and the return of heart consciousness and the end of the Mayan calendar and all that, there are certain investments which are guaranteed to make you a load of cash (providing I’m right).  If you consider that people are going to want to rely less on institutions and more on getting support from more stable, reliable sources, you can’t do better than investing on something like using the Sun itself as an energy source. 

The American administration has talked for a while about relying less and less on Middle Eastern oil reserves and Japan is expecting 30% of their population to have solar panels by 2020.  In my view people are going to want to become more and more off-grid.  My point (which I hope I’m making succinctly but probably am not – it’s not often I feel like writing these) is that there’s a theme of people wanting to cut out the middle man in every single aspect of their life because they realise just how much he actually shafts them and instead people want to get their sense of wellbeing, and purpose and abundance directly from whence it came.  So in terms of generating energy to power their appliances, they’ll want to install solar panels and wind generators in their gardens.  In terms of work, they’ll want to do something they won’t have to force themselves to do and something which will actually motivate them as opposed to them having to force themselves to make it happen.  In terms of relationships, they’ll want to go with what feels more natural, so rather than staying with certain friends who don’t serve them in any way, they’ll leave them and make better friends with people who are on their wavelength and who make them feel loved.  In terms of money, money will just serve to be the oil that lubricates the whole mechanism and will cease to have anywhere near as much relevance as it has had in the past and has right now. 

But before all that happens, there’s going to be a lot of acting out going on by certain parties such as myself (I’m a first time buyer for example) banks, companies and all the rest of them.  The big battle is going to be waged out and the heart will eventually win.  But do I believe this…?

Not as much as I’d like to.  I guess there’s still speculative punter within me aswell… I’ve been almost obsessed with reading about the economy for the last few months.  I think it’ll happen though, but it’ll take some time for it all to be played out. 

In the meantime though, I’m gonna see if I can speculate on some solar panels… or maybe Gold.  Or the NASDAQ. 

“The Power Of Love” – Frankie goes to Hollywood.

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Feels like fire
I’m so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay-bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away-yeah

I’m so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down I’ll be around
With my undying, death-defying
Love for you

Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers
And pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin’ rushin’ inside of me

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine-divine divine
Love is danger, love is pleasure
Love is pure-the only treasure

I’m so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove

Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal

I’ll protect you from the hooded claw
Keep the vampires from your door

Never has a truer word been spoken… 

I was inspired by some writing on Imelda’s website (www.intoangels.com) about how a look can heal or destroy or a single comment can uplift or depress.  I can relate to this at the moment.

I’m still going through the process of healing my ligament injuries through prolotherapy and right now, just over a week after my first injections, my joints have returned to their original positions and the pain I was experiencing has came back.  It’s fucking difficult.

I live on my own, have no-one around to help me out and work with a bunch of people who clearly have absolutely no intention of helping me out in any way.  I’m very much alone.  I have a flat which is becoming increasingly untidy because I can’t move around too much in order to tidy it myself.  My hair’s getting unnaturally long for it’s style (shaved close to the head) and I can’t face going to the barbers to engage in needless smalltalk about “what I’m doing at the weekend” when in reality I’m never doing anything at the weekend because I can’t do anything because I don’t want to injure myself further and I have very few real friends to go out with anyway. 

Coupled with this, I can’t do any yoga whatsoever, which is what made up a pretty large chunk of my life.  Now I watch Star-Trek Voyager! Lol!  Yep, Star Trek Voyager is my replacement for yoga.  Although, I’ve decided it’s not such a good idea to watch it every single night it’s on Virgin-1 and instead have decided to but the full series off ebay and will watch it whenever I get the urge.  This way I can avoid all the adverts for the “Sarah Connor chronicles”, “The Marines” and all the shampoo ads which never seem to change…  The aim is to become more in control of this particular obsession I’ve developed.

Seriously though, I’ve got some obvious lessons to learn.  I read recently on the www.whatsuponplanetearth.com website that a huge amount of people are experiencing illnesses which they’ve created for the purpose of getting themselves out of the way so that they can return to source.  This makes sense.  I was doing yoga in such a way that it was becoming bad for me.  I was ignoring the pang of pain I was feeling down in my pelvis and it gotten worse and worse…  Until I couldn’t do any yoga.  So I had to get out of the way.  And if I’m honest I feel a lot of relief.  It’s good to know I don’t have to do yoga every single day.  Sometimes I can just enjoy the energy of being alive and that’s enough.  I feel I have an idea how things are going to turn out.

If my current psychic skills are as good as I believe them to be, here’s what I think’ll happen.  The prolotherapy will have permanent lasting effects.  It is going to heal me.  The musculoskeletal specialist I’m seeing, as quirky and awkward a guy as he seems to be (yet also incredibly real, with a genuine desire to help people) is going to get me sorted out.  There’s a distinctly therapeutic energy about him – he really seems to be quite conscious and gives you the space to do the healing that you need to do.  So I think it’ll work.  After I’m healed, I’ll start doing yoga again, but it’s going to be with a completely different mindset than before and I will feel the need to try out other classes which aim to get the blood moving around more.  I’ll still be in a job which involves lots of sitting around typing into keyboards, so will need to work on flexibility a lot.  So, I may try an Ashtanga class which (if my visualisations and comparisons to Bikram yoga are correct) heat you up from the inside and encourage your muscles to release themselves from within.  I won’t be practicing every single day either.  I may only practice when I feel the need, or I may only practice on certain days of the week and I may avoid practicing on full moons, new moons, solstices or equinoxes. I’m not sure yet.  But here’s something else I’ve had an insight on which feels very important.

I feel as though rather than focusing entirely on my body (as I did when practicing yoga every day) as my way of experiencing life, I need to join it all up more.  It was as though I had a fixation on the way my body felt.  Mind you, it was completely therapeutic in the beginning when I started doing tai chi…  The feeling of being so present in my body was incredible.  Never in my life have I channeled as much Universal Healing Energy, and a certain amount of individuals were there to witness it which makes it much more worthwhile.  But I’m past that stage now. 

I’ve managed to develop that relationship with my body which I didn’t have before.  So once I’m healed, I’ll start doing yoga again and use all the energy I get from it for positive purposes and start working on certain projects.  I can see myself utilising the skills of discipline I learned from practicing every day for other purposes such as visualising, meditating and general manifestation.  Exactly what I want to manifest at the moment is unclear though.  Apart from health, that is. 

In any case, I can’t go back to the way I was before.  Sometimes mindlessly doing postures with very little body-awareness and clinging onto the idea that it was good for me and that I should keep doing it!  When in reality what was happening was I was feeling my enegry disconnect from it a bit and because I was so scared of losing the love for it, I kept doing it more and more.  I went against my own intuitive guidance and did it anyway, injuring myself to the point of immobilising myself and couldn’t do it at all.  But I’m still interested in it though – I mean, what’s there not to be interested in?  Yoga’s a complete system covering all aspects of being.  It exists outside of time and space.  How could I not be interested in something like that?!

Delving deeper into myself though, I feel that around the middle of next year is when I’ll properly be over the injury.  July feels right for some reason.  What’ll happen is I have to completely integrate the injury on all levels, otherwise it will just return.  There’s no way I can go back to the way I was before.  I can’t afford to cling onto old beliefs even though they may have been relevant at the time.

It seems that I’m going through a process.  A few years ago when I moved out, there was so much stuff I wanted to manifest – a girlfriend, a better job… stuff like that.  Yet I haven’t manifested either of those two yet.  I found a girl I could love, although I feel as though I’ve learned when I needed to learn with her, and perhaps made her aware of the places she needs to grow too, yet not a proper relationship as such.  Whether or not that’ll come about isn’t for me to say.  I’m too far removed from the idea of forcing such things or making them happen out of brute force – if it happens, it happens and it’ll be beautiful if it does. In the meantime, I seem to have more important stuff to deal with.

I’m still unsure though.  I may need to vision quest again in order to find out what to do.

Yep, enough writing for one day.

Cheerio the noo.

Over the course of this year I’ve paid a lot more attentio to the natural rhythms of the world – the rising and setting of the sun, the moon’s phases and the solstices/equinoxes.  I’m feeling the urge to examine exactly what each period involves from a manifestation perspective and feel that it needs some galvanising within me, so here I go.

Winter Solstice.  On the winter solstice, we have the best possible opportunity to examine the year just gone by and how well we think we did.  During the time of maximum yin, we will know what it feels like to have as little as possible.  There’s not as much sunlight in the sky and people are feeling much more introverted and within themselves, so things don’t really manifest as much during this time.  The best thing to do on the solstice is to try to get a good feeling for exactly what we want in life.  It’s during this time that this is most obvious to us.  It makes itself known to us by it’s own volition, so all we need to do is listen to it’s messages and take note.  This is where we visualise and affirm and plan for the year ahead and get that great feeling of subtle excitement which happens when we know something good’s on the way.    So, it’s best to do write it down on paper or do a blog or talk to a trusted friend about what it is you want to manifest in order to enhance the energy of it.  Remember you’re planting a seed here – a seed needs all kinds of things for it to grow strongly – good, rich soil, clean water, heat and sunlight.  Your manifesting practice should include some good quality meditation (to clear your mind and enable you to focus on what you want) some discretion (if that’s the right word) (you have to know exactly what it is that you want in as much detail as you can without being so specific that you want to manipulate certain individuals/impose on anyone else’s manifestation agenda) and I think finally, good overall health is imperative for the manifestation process, so that you have a good vessell to hold the thought in.

Spring Equinox.  During the period from the Winter solstice to the spring equinox, this is where our manifestations start to appear and it’s probably my favourite time of the year.  It’s probably still winter, but in terms of energy (sunlight) it’s bursting to get through and seems to seep out of every nook and cranny.  There’s no stopping it and it’s the best thing in the world.  IMO.  Anyway!  This is where we start to see the beginnings of our manifestations in a raw form.  They’re very much still in a “thought” state but are also starting to manifest on the physical.  As for the equinox itself however, this is the point directly in between the winter and summer solstice – therefore the energies of being deep within yourself and figuring out exactly what you want to manifest and then them actually being manifest in their fullest are at a point of perfect balance.  This gives you the absolute perfect opportunity to review all the work you’ve did so far on your manifesting projects and figure out how you need to alter the way you do things in any way – ie, are you making enough effort in your projects or not?  The Taoist ideas of yielding and sticking apply here.  If you’re not making enough effort, you need to stick more and if you’re maybe being too intense and working too hard, then ease off a bit and yield to whatever’s happening around you instead of trying to maintain too much of a grip on it.  This approach will see you starting to manifest things much better and more accurately and the Beltaine celebrations of May 1st are a celebration of this idea in action.

Summer solstice.  After readjusting your methods in the spring equinox and acting accordingly, you will now see exactly what it is you wanted to manifest during the winter solstice.  Here’s where your dreams come true and the universe completely supports you in all your endeavours.  You’ve completely earned the right to feel everything you’re feeling right now and you should aim to enjoy it all to the absolute maximum.  Now you can relax and enjoy everything you’ve manifested. 

Vernal/Autumnal equinox.  This is the point directly in between the summer and winter solstice.  From the summer solstice until this point, you start realising what’s missing, where you’ve been going wrong and exactly how things are really going in your life.  If there was ever any uncertainty on anything, you’ll start to feel it during the period from the summer to  the winter solstice.  It’ll come on gradually, reaching a peak at the winter solstice.  Again though, this is a balancing point where you get yet again, the perfect opportunity to examine all you’ve created throughout the year and figure out what you could do to refine it or do better in one way or another.  Maybe one thing you created wasn’t such a good idea or maybe you need to ditch something or change something in some way.  Here’s where you figure all that stuff out and become more clear on what you need to drop and what needs to be kept.  The period between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice is characterised by this – especially on Halloween. 

And then you get back to the winter solstice again where you’ve dropped off all the dross you accumulated during the year and are back in a more pure state of being trying to figure out where you want to go in the next year. 

 

Obviously all of the above is a guideline and isn’t necessary to be followed by the letter… You can start manifesting things on the autumnal equinox if you wanted to – nothing stopping you, its just that it may be more difficult what with the energy going around at the time.  If you align yourself to the movement of the seasons, you’re more likely to succeed (if you use the guidelines intelligently) because the universe is supporting you all the way, no matter what state you’re in.  It just depends on what type of person you are… If you’re a sensitive like me, you’ll be more inclined to go along with the seasons and let nature support you.  Either that or you think all of the above is a load of bollocks and you’ll just live your life your own way not caring too much about what season it is (apart from when it’s cold and you think, “Ah fuck I need to put jacket on!”) and you’ll manifest things in the same old way you always did.  Randomly and using your strength of mind alone.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that either.

Hope someone found this useful…

Goodnight.